Rapture in Misery

This was my very first Mountain Bike Race, ever. I watched Jeff and Rich do this race last year and Glen was looking for a team mate this year, so sure, what’s the worst that can happen? Sign me up. Oh, did I mention I’ve got less than 100 miles off-road this year and only about 15 miles in the last five months. The Prime Directive, as recommended by JB, was to keep the knobby side down. Don’t want to eff-up a perfectly good road season by bouncing off a tree. The trial run on Friday night showed me just how sucky a mountain biker I am. I think I turned a 56 minute practice lap and felt like I was on the gas most of the time. I earned the pleasure of doing the first lap because I was a runner in a former life and should have the lemans start covered. That was a long time ago, but sure, lets go. Jeff and Rich advised me to be in the top 15 after the run (250 yards) so I didn’t get jammed behind other riders heading into the single track. Goal accomplished. I was sixth on the bike and jumped to second at the entry to the single track. Being a poor bike handler, my tactic was to hammer the up-hills and flats to make up as much time as possible and minimize my losses in the technical sections. The first mile was mostly up-hill, so hammer down. Jeff was on my wheel at the exit of Dave’s Maze and I pulled him through the bean field to the entrance of Family Trail then yielded the right of way. I held third place to Mikey’s Tantrum then Doug (of the Doug and Rich team, the team to beat) rode passed me while I sheepishly pushed my bike through a technical section. Doug promptly dropped me like a bad habit, but now I’ve got a carrot. :-)

I lost a bunch of time in the first lap making sure I kept it vertical but my lap time was just over 52, including a one minute run. Better than I hoped. Jeff (solo 6 hour) rode the first lap in just over 49 minutes for the fastest lap of the day. My hero.

Glen kept it close on lap two and I was looking forward to improving on lap three. I started getting into a groove on my second lap. The line was getting wider, partly due to the amount of traffic and partly due to me getting more confident on the bike. I actually started to enjoy it and turned the lap in just over 50 minutes. Sweet!

Fast forward to lap 5 (my lap three). We were down five minutes to Doug and Rich. I was really starting to get into race mode and feeling more comfortable on the bike. Screw the Prime Directive, time to drop the hammer. The first lap I got off the bike in four different technical sections. By my third lap I had it down to two and only walked the exit of Mikey’s tantrum instead of the whole thing. Baby steps. Sub 50 minute lap and we reduced our deficit to just over 2 ½ minutes. Game on!

I had a few cramping issues on lap five and downed Powerade, water, Gu, a banana and Red Bull in anticipation of lap seven, my 4th and final lap. I was really overamping and could not wait to get back out on the course and close the deal. Glen is a competitor and knows the score. I was confident he could close the gap and get us within shooting distance of the lead. He had it going on and got it down to a two minute gap by the end of lap 6.

Time to go to work. FULL GAS up the hill. I started cramping at the top, but with one lap to go, what’s the worst that could happen? Ha!

I caught Doug half way through Family Trail. I sat on his wheel for a bit and then asked to pass. He is a classy sportsman and let me around immediately. I really pushed it from the exit of Family Trail to the entrance of Will’s. I knew a mistake on my part could lose the race and wanted as much time in my back pocket as possible. Half way down Rim Job I took a hit. My hands slipped off the bars and I grabbed what was available. What was available was my front brake. ENDO! I slid down the trail on my forearms and knees while my bike flew into a pile of poison ivy. I jumped up, waded into the brush and dug out my bike. Quick check, all systems go (me and the bike), got to make up lost time. But by this point my legs were not cooperating and I had to pause several times to free cramps in my calves and quads. Time to dial it back and ease through Tasty Goodness to the finish.


A quick check over my shoulder on the jeep trail and it was going to stick. I was totally stoked to be greeted by Glen, Gina, Rich and everyone else when we crossed the finish line 1st in the six hour. Two words. Wore Slick!

The race lived up to its name. The team format of alternating laps let you see your competitors every lap and review their lap times. This really got me into race mode Rapture. The length of the race was grueling and, again, alternating laps meant you could red-line it then recover between laps. That and the punishment from the course made it Misery. Total full body ache and exhaustion that will probably last a few days. The only time I’ve felt like this before was when I was playing HS football. I can only imagine what it was like in Solo and 12 hour.

Eric and Kent turned in a solid performance for The Shack in six hour duo. Jeff scored second in the six hour solo.

Rich and Doug rode a great race. I’ve ridden with both of them before and they are very good on the bike. I will never be in their league. I think this race ultimately came down to endurance and Glen and I had a bit of an edge in that department. Five hour race and they had us covered. Dollars to doughnuts (mmmm doughnuts) they are ready for us next year.

Sunday was the Bike Shack Buckner Time Trial. I ran the laptop at registration. Post race celebration from the night before made me a very crabby boy and I apologize to anyone I was short with. I was the ultimate manifest bitch (skydiving term, but I’m sure you get the idea). A big thanks to Ken’s wife, Sandy, Jeff, Mark, Chris and everyone else for keeping me sane. I really hope everyone came away with a positive impression of the race. After the race we had a group ride to Lexington and back. I was cooked by Wellington and got shelled out the back on 24 when the tri guys went to the front (tuck tail between legs and mail it in).

Good weekend!